My wife was in labour with our first child. Things were going pretty well
when suddenly she began toshout. "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?"
"Nothing. She's just having contraction."
. . . . .
Joe bought his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery as a
birthday gift. the next year, he bought her nothing.
"Didn't i deserve a present?" she moaned.
"You haven't used the one i bought you last year."
Adinkrah Ibrahim
. . . . .
Bert the snake goes to see his doctor. "I need something for my eyes. I can't see
very well these days" he says. The doctor gives him a pair of glasses and
tell him to come back in a forthnight.
Bert returns two weeks later and tells the doc he was depressed.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine," says Bert. "But i just discovered i've been living
with a garden hose for the last three years."
. . . . .
The doctor's office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was painfully slow.
After waiting for two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started
walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" the receptionist called out.
"Well," he said. "I figured I'd go home and die a natural death"
Bert the snake goes to see his doctor. "I need something for my eyes. I can't see
very well these days" he says. The doctor gives him a pair of glasses and
tell him to come back in a forthnight.
Bert returns two weeks later and tells the doc he was depressed.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "Didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine," says Bert. "But i just discovered i've been living
with a garden hose for the last three years."
. . . . .
The doctor's office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was painfully slow.
After waiting for two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started
walking towards the door.
"Where are you going?" the receptionist called out.
"Well," he said. "I figured I'd go home and die a natural death"
Simon Bjerke
. . . . .
Some men were working at a sawmill when one of them got too close to
the blade and had his ear lopped off. The other guys rummaged through
the sawdust to look for it.
"I found it!" yelled a co-worker.
"Keep looking," said the earless one. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
. . . . .
Ninety-year-old Morris goes to his doctor for check-up.
A few week later, the doctor sees him in the street with a gorgeous, much
younger woman on his arm.
"You're really doing well, aren't you?" he tells the elderly gent.
Morris relies, "Just doing what you said Doctor. 'Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful."
"No," says the doctor. "I said, 'You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
Some men were working at a sawmill when one of them got too close to
the blade and had his ear lopped off. The other guys rummaged through
the sawdust to look for it.
"I found it!" yelled a co-worker.
"Keep looking," said the earless one. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
. . . . .
Ninety-year-old Morris goes to his doctor for check-up.
A few week later, the doctor sees him in the street with a gorgeous, much
younger woman on his arm.
"You're really doing well, aren't you?" he tells the elderly gent.
Morris relies, "Just doing what you said Doctor. 'Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful."
"No," says the doctor. "I said, 'You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
William Boyle
. . . . .
Eleven people - ten men and one woman - were clinging to a rope hanging
down from a helicopter. They decided one person had to let go or
they would all die. The woman gave a touching speech about how
she would give up her life to save the others because females
were used to making sacrifices for their husbands and children and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men clapped.
Eleven people - ten men and one woman - were clinging to a rope hanging
down from a helicopter. They decided one person had to let go or
they would all die. The woman gave a touching speech about how
she would give up her life to save the others because females
were used to making sacrifices for their husbands and children and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men clapped.
Willian Boyle
. . . . .
A male and a female driver are involved in a horrific collision.
Amazingly, they escape unhurt. As they crawl from the wreckage,
the man notices that the woman is attractive. She turns to him and gushes,
"We shouldn't have survived that. Maybe it's a sign that we're meant to be together." "And look," she continues. "Though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine is intact. It's another sign. Let's drink to our love!"
"OK!" says the man, going with the moment.
He drinks half the bottle and hands it back, "Your turn."
"No, thanks," says the woman. "I think I'll just wait for the police."
. . . . .
taken from Reader's Digest collection of Laughter, the best medicine
A male and a female driver are involved in a horrific collision.
Amazingly, they escape unhurt. As they crawl from the wreckage,
the man notices that the woman is attractive. She turns to him and gushes,
"We shouldn't have survived that. Maybe it's a sign that we're meant to be together." "And look," she continues. "Though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine is intact. It's another sign. Let's drink to our love!"
"OK!" says the man, going with the moment.
He drinks half the bottle and hands it back, "Your turn."
"No, thanks," says the woman. "I think I'll just wait for the police."
. . . . .
taken from Reader's Digest collection of Laughter, the best medicine
